I was just thinking (for about 20seconds) on divorce rate in America. I think it all relates to one very simple solution...communication. Everyone who is married has things they don't not like (or even possibly hate) about their partner. Problem is....no one talks..so the partner may not even know you have an issue.
A favourite quote of mine:
"Resentment is like drinking a glass of poison while waiting for the other person to die."
The other side is not even affected by what is eating you up inside. SO TALK!!! After that...well there is definitely differing forms of communications...and if you have communicated...and the other side isn't willing to even contemplate the issue, well that's a whole other issue itself. Yet, if you don't communicate...? QUITCHER BITCHIN!!!
Secondly...most issues are related to YOU. Most people seem to think that if they find another partner ..this will solve their problem(s)...IT WON'T. The same thing that irritates you about him/her will irritate you with another partner...why? because it is YOUR issue...our nation thinks the grass is always greener on the other side...and they keep going over and finding the same grass and wondering why. BECAUSE YOU ARE THE FERTILIZER...
Again...communication is the key element here.. some people get divorced and the second marriage is better...in my opinion the large majority of these cases is due to the other partner understanding (or having the same) communication style as you...so you can work out YOUR issue together. I realize that this is not always the case...cause sometimes you have an 'Earl' that s gotta die....(Dixie Chicks)...but come on people.
NUFF SAID
Disclaimer:
Communication may cause nausea, vomiting, loose bowels, high blood pressure, low blood pressure, blindness (emotional), heartache, fast heart rate, difficulty breathing, difficulty sleeping, too much sleep, lack of money, high occurrence of sexual side effects. Please speak to your psychiatrist before communication takes place. This opinion in no way shape or form is liable for your stupidity or lack of preparation to communicate.
Friday, November 16, 2007
Divorce rate...
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4 comments:
did you make up that entire side note?? that is so funny, I want to hang that up somewhere...email it to all my friends, send it around the internet..
I agree with everything tho. In our case, we communicate til we're blue in the face but our communication issue is that we both have different understandings of what certain phrases mean or what certain words mean and that leads us to argue til we realize that it was just a misunderstanding. Sometimes we just have to let it drop because no matter how I explain it, he still DOESN'T GET IT. I dont think its because he's stupid, its just that he truly doesn't see into my head or my heart and so he can't understand, no matter how much he may want to (or NOT want to, in many situations)
Yes..I created the disclaimer..it just sorta popped in my head.
And regarding the communication you guys have? Well it is all about styles of communication. Seems that Ryans is about 'definining' the issue. Where some are more of 'visual' communicators. When you are a different style then your partner...things can be pretty hairy till you each learn the others 'style'. There is actually a book somewhere on this..
wow, i sure liked reading that. i agree...i am new at it all...i want to suck up all the advice. i really really liked the quote. I know this has nothing to do with marriage but when mom and i used to fight, dad used to come and talk to me and tell me that i could fight with her over and over but there would be no way that she would change unless i started to change too. i believe that to some degree..i dont think i ought to change so much so i am not the same person, or change so much like dad has to where it doesnt seem to solve anything and she still complains over anything...i dont know...just a thought.
jon...are you going to my blog to see the video i have of rylee...i am sure you and laura would really enjoy it.
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